This movie was a bad idea from the beginning. Long before the legion of sexless man-babies started crying about the illuminati social justice plot to take over their mother’s basements by putting women in movies they don’t own and really don’t change just because it go remade this was a bad idea. Ghostbusters was lightening in a 1984 bottle that simply was not going to be captured again. The movie came out at the right time under the right circumstances and the actors aged out of a third part about ten years ago. From the moment they first announced this idea to the first extremely bad trailer everything about this being a bad idea was cemented by the idiotic controversy started by a YouTube looking at the first trailer and declaring he’d never go see this movie. I say fake because I watched the guy’s video. I don’t know if he’s a card carrying member of he he-man woman haters club or not, I didn’t do a search of his videos to see if he had the usual obsession with any woman daring to speak out about sexism or if he fell in line with the union of socially unacceptable psychos who hang on every word uttered by Anita Sarkeesain so they could complain about every word uttered by Anita Sarkesian or not. The one thing I know for sure was that the trailer did not inspire anyone to go see this movie because it was simply a really bad trailer. Some reviewer like to declare that trailers don’t matter. They’d be wrong. Trailers are supposed to give you a sense of what a movie is about as well as get your butt into that theater. Let’s make this clear, the trailer sucked. The next trailer sucked. And pretty much every piece of marketing after that sucked because on second after the first trailer made the unpublished world record for being the most hated Sony embraced the controversy by making it part of their movie. That sucked too.
The Controversy – Thank You Comic Book Girl 19
Before I do what too many other reviewers refused to do, review by comparison, I want to thank YouTube creator Comic Book Girl 19 for putting the controversy into perspective. Most people reading this to get another take on the 2016 Ghostbusters movie know about the controversy. The truth is how big it got made not sense. The exact same thing happened with Max Max Fury Road. The legion of man baby woman haters came out of the woodwork to accuse the SWJ arm of the Illuminati of using woman and black people and lions and tigers and bears of taking over their prescious movies. It was the exact same types screaming “girl are ruining our boys club.” They got some play, people acknowledged it. It most certainly did not reach the weird level of Ghostbusters. Comic Book Girl 19 made me realize you to ask the detective’s question “who benefits.” I don’t remember the name of the guy who made the video saying he wouldn’t see it because I watched it and like Comic Book Girl 19 and many others it did not sound like your typical man-baby whine. The fact is the first and second and third trailers were awful. It had nothing to do with the actors, they all have huge followings of both men and women. It had to do with the trailer not exactly making you want to go see the movie. But somehow the down votes were in the spotlight and if felt like every online news source was making is a woman hater against feminist thing.
I’m going to remind you of this again. The same amount of man-babies went nuts about Mad Max Fury Road and the same amount of progressives thinking people – rightly or wrongly – came to the movie’s defense. It did not reach the level of Ghostbusters. The controversy had to be driven. And when you go back and look at tall the trailers, especially the final one where the trailer proclaimed “Get Over it!” Sony was fanning the flames to make up for shitty marketing. Look at how they did the first trailers. The makers assured us endlessly that the movie would not be connected to the old Ghostbusters and this would be it’s own thing, then turned around and directly referenced the old Ghostbusters in their own trailer. WFT? As Malcolm X once said, we were hoodwinked. we were had, we were bamboozled. Sony tried to ride the “no publicity is bad publicity” train and use the man baby response to their advantage. Meaning a large corporation acting like a money grubbing whore so where’s the surprise there?
Comparisons – Characters.
Since the movie makers bent over like a sex starved contortionist at an orgy to connect this movie with the old on, it is perfectly fair the make any comparisons. The first problem with this movie was character introduction. In the 1984 Ghostbusters we were given a sense of who the characters were by what they were doing. We meet the potential problem through a thing that happens in a library. We meet Dr. Venkman while he’s macking on a student half his age. We meet Stantz and Spengler as they are getting ready to head for the library excited about a possible ghost sighting while Venkman reminds them how many times they’ve been on these before with no results. We meet Tully desperately trying to make a connection with Dana and how both actors do the scene you can tell this is a common occurrence, probably something Dana has to put up with every time she walks out her door. The beginning of the 1984 movie sets up character, motivation and foreshadows what’s coming. In the 1984 movie the character were introduce in a proactive way. Showing not telling. Using dialogue along with action to tell use what’s going on.
The 2016 movie almost couldn’t be bothered. It has a nice set-up but we meet Kristin Wing’s character reacting to everything. Kristin Wing reacts to a potential promotion, reacts to finding a book she wrote online in a weird way. (I mean she wasn’t vetted by the college staff that thinks Cambridge is a step down? On what planet.) We just meet Melissa McCarthy and Kate McKinnon and I don’t even remember any of the character names. The adlibbing was obvious because it was over used. To many jokes fell flat. You don’t remember a single line or catch phrase. Try it without looking it up. Think of the most memorable things said in the 1984 Ghostbusters as opposed to this one. I don’t think anyone is going to be repeating the running gag about Chinese food.
Comparison #2 – Story
Did you see the first Ghostbusters? Then you saw II and the 2016 remake. They all had pretty much the same story. In Ghostbuster II you could say they were lazy. But over 30 years later and the writers could not come up with an original story? They had to keep throwing in reminders of the first movie? Including one original cast member whose been dying to do this since he realized his relevance was fading and one who I’m positive insisted he wasn’t doing another one. Not to mention do you have a clue what the villain’s plan was and why is was doing it. You remember Zuul. You remember he’s just some ancient demi-god thing that has a huge woody for Gozer the Gozerian and that plan was putting the age appropriate woman Venkman was macking on in real danger. What do you remember about the villain in the 2016 Ghostbusters except he was there and wanted to free the ghost because. . .reasons? Oh and despite the fact that obviously crazy shit is happening in a major metropolitan area, people are skeptical and want the Ghostbusters shut down. That happened in all three movies. In II you were confused because you were sure that this universe just experience a giant bloody marshmellow man stomping through New York. In this movie the ghost are screwing with tourist attraction and transportation systems. It’s like those movies in the 1970’s where people are turning up dead with punchers in their necks and drained of blood then getting up and turning into bats in front of witnesses but everyone except the heroes do not believe in vampires.
Comparison #3 – The Funny
The 1984 Ghostbusters does not have the best special effects. Even in 1984 the dogs looked bad. Off. Like they weren’t actually part of the movie. The reason we forgave the special effects was because the characters worked well off each other as well as the plot. In the case of the 2016 version the characters only worked well together with the plot from the old movie. You did not laugh out loud at every joke in the 1984 movie but you did smile at the lines. Not so much with this movie. The only thing that stood out was one of the songs they played at the end. This movie just wasn’t all that funny which is weird because you have a director, actresses and crew who know how to make something funny.
Comparison #4 – Scooby Do Effects
No. Just no. Don’t even try that “well the effects were cartoony but worked withing the movie” bullshit argument. No. In 1984 they had certain limits, but you forgave those limits because it had a good movie built around them. It’s 2016, you cannot give me the same effects from the bloody Scooby Do movie and try to explain it away. I live in an age where a Japanese Card flipping game is now one of the biggest apps in the universe, where my games are about to be VR, where super hero TV shows convince me a guy and run the speed of sound and this movie tries to pawn off cheesy effects by somehow wrapping itself around the “It’s art” argument? Screw that noise.
Comparison #5 – The One Black
I am tired of certain black stereotypes. They are not funny, they are tired as shit and we need to start curbing them. No offense to Leslie Jones but she got caught up in this just as people who honestly did not like the Trailer got caught up being grouped with the man-baby woman haters. There was no goddamn reason she could not be a scientist. The argument that “token booth clerks are people too” doe snot hold up with me. I live in New York City. You can become a token booth clerk with a high school diploma a test and the patience to wait for your name to come up on a list. The point of it was that Ernie was already the “the loud black from the streets who cursed a lot” only he did it with more style. To put this into perspective Leslie Jones brand of comedy is one I don’t like anyway. Chris Farely did that and I never laughed, so it’s not only the black thing. Again all they did was do exactly what was done in the 1984 movie and it’s 2016, writers should know better. I’m not saying not be crazy or quirky, but don’t give me a stereotype I’ve seen a billion times already.
About that Marketing
No matter how you see this movie most of us can agree that the marketing sucked. I do not know who was in charge of putting together the trailers but if anything helped this movie not be a success the trailers were a big part of it. The jokes were not funny, the effects looked bad and there was nothing of interest making me say “I’ve got to see this movie.” I have no problems going to the girl power thing, but at least do it with some style and not make it as boring as whoever Sony had marketing this movie did.
I did not think this movie would rise past the level of “meh.” Ghostbusters was a lighten in the bottle movie who time came and went. If it was going to be a real franchise it would have after II and Ghostbuster II demonstrated that Sony had no idea how to expand it to a franchise. Using “It’s all women this time” is to one note. There has to be more to the movie than just that and the box office reflect these issues. Had they at least tried to be their own thing they would have gotten respect for that. The man baby women haters cried about a female Starbuck in the SyFy Battlestar Galactica remake but Katie Sackoff made the character a new and fresh take and changed everyone’s mind in two episodes. I have nothing against remakes but I want to movie to at least whelm me a little bit. I’m going to forget this movie in an month until someone brings it up and that’s a sad statement on the talent behind it.