Rating 1/5: Jurassic World 2 completely proves that they have not gotten a Jurassic Park movie right since the first one. There’s a reason for that. It’s because the first one was pretty much a complete story. But the rule of Hollywood is if it makes a metric ton of money then there will most likely be the second movie. Jurassic World 2 was dumb. Not just a little dumb, but from start to finish dumb. Then again, all the movies are kind of dumb, even the first one. Let’s look at the premise, a billionaire finds a way to bring back dinosaurs by cloning stored DNA and he decides to open a theme park. Of course, things go wrong. Every movie afterward is people constantly going back to dinosaur island and getting killed for going back to dinosaur island. There comes a point in Friday the 13th where you have to ask, “Exactly who is still taking a job at this camp after so many prior years of murder?” Same goes for the Jurassic movies. At some point, you have to wonder why anyone keeps going back. But Jurassic World decided to take that stupidity a step further, they reopen the park and it’s a huge tourist attraction. And guess what? Things go wrong. In Jurassic World 2 they decided to just let the monkies write the screenplay between shit throwing and this is what you got. Was it popular? I believe the billion dollars it’s on track to making pretty much answers that question. But it was dumb.
Jurassic World Save
Let’s be clear, Jurassic World wasn’t exactly the most intelligent movie on the planet. Its whole premise was that the park is open and thriving, so they decide to start cross-pollinating the dinosaurs into something called the “whatthefuckosaraus” or something like that. Guess what, things go wrong. However, then the final scene happens. The T-Rex and the Raptors team-up to kill that new “AreYouFuckingKiddingRex” There was this Sharknado dinosaur that while dumb but actually had a role in fighting the “dumb-o-saraus-rex.” Jurassic World 2 didn’t have that saving scene. Jurassic World 2 had a lot of stupid scenes.
Jurassic World 2 Stupid Scenes
You can use the stupid scenes in Jurassic World 2 as a drinking game. Does Claire want to save the dinosaurs? Stupid scene. She had a good friend and assistant murdered by the dinosaurs. Her work destroyed by dinosaurs. Her nephews almost killed and eaten by dinosaurs and were almost killed by dinosaurs herself. The last thing you’d expect this woman to be is a fan of dinosaurs. The Island Jurassic World 2 is on an island with a volcano? Stupid. I think we’ve reached the point in sixth-grade science where we know when there’s an active volcano and can pretty find out if it’s active or not. Auctioning dinosaurs? Stupid. Let’s forget that it would cost more money to capture, cage, transport and feed these creatures, why would you need to auction them if you can just clone them any time you want? Super Raptor needs a gun to be pointed at its target in order to act? If you have your target lined up in the site of a gun why not just shoot. That’s not the best use of a dinosaur you want to use in war. Here’s a better plan, let the thing loose to the population of the enemy city. And there you go. A little girl is a clone? I’m can’t. No, seriously, I can’t. There was no reason for this “twist.” It made no sense and added nothing to the movie or the story. Claire lets the dinosaurs loose upon the American Population? Really stupid scene. You know what would have made that scene way better, this dialogue:
Claire: We’ve got to release the dinosaurs before the poison gas kills them all
Claire: Because we need to set-up the sequel.
Jurassic World 2 Bottom Line
Dinosaurs are fun. Movies about dinosaurs are fun. So long as you turn off your brain you can just have fun with it. Every single movie called “Lost World’ has not been a good movie. Sure there will be mentions about special effects or the first one to do it and all that. Otherwise, you’re not going to see any Oscar nominations or even Kid MTV movie awards for it. I’m not going to harp on everything about any of the Jurassic movies that don’t make sense because the premise of every single one of them is far-fetched and not going to happen anytime soon. But people like these movies so they do something right. For me, I can take a lot of dumb in a lot of movies. It’s just that sometimes the dumb just outweighs the fun and for me, that’s the problem with Jurassic World 2.