Rating 4.5/5 This is by no means the final review of Star Wars The Last Jedi. Let’s face it, this is a Star Wars movie so it’s going to get reviewed, examined, over-examined, fan fiction, examined, reviewed again and eventually turned into a porn video. Because this is Star Wars and that’s how Star Wars fans roll. I prefer to do all my reviews from the point of view of a movie watcher, a geek, a fan (which is why I only review movies I actually like or care about) and after I’ve absorbed other reviews and reactions. Here’s my reaction: I loved it. I love the new direction Star Wars is obviously going and I love the ideas they are putting out there with things like Rogue One. However, there is one thing I don’t love.
The Casino Scene & Other BS Complaint
Because everyone – except a very few reviewers like MobieBob and Jenny Nicholson – won’t shut up or think sensibly about it I have to talk about the casino scene, the conflict between Po and the rebel leadership, the so-called over hammering of a social message (or, damn those SJW’s and their taking over all our shit.) And since so many have decided to sit in the corner crying like toddlers over shit that really makes no sense if one thinks past one’s fanboy penis. What’s actually happening is entertainment and business, in general, have realized that their money is not going to simply come from 12-year-old white boys with a fantasy of being “the one.” Reviewers of Star Wars the last Jedi keep falling into the trap of thinking the bitching and moaning so-called “Star Wars” fans are about plot points and side-stories. It’s exactly the same as thinking comic book readers somehow control the fate of movies.
I’m going to say this now. The real focus of all the bitching and moaning about casino scenes and space horses and Po not being told the big plan is mostly smoke-screen. What this really is about is framing and focus. Star Wars, like 99.9% of everything Hollywood produces for the big and small screen, has a white male hero focus, because in this society that’s the default. The woman and people of color are added in as either object for the protagonist to react to or for, or subjects that are only there to somehow guide the hero in whatever direction the plot needs them to go. Star Wars The Force Awakens and Star Wars The Last Jedi just spent two movies killing off what used to be the main focus. It was as if they were saying “Okay Star Wars, time to sweep out this old stuff and make room for the entertainment business of the 21st century.”
Star Wars Dollars
As I write this post-Star Wars The Last Jedi has earned $870,261,767 according to Box Office Mojo. These days if you have a major motion picture dropping you never release them on the same week a Star Wars, Marvel or Fast & Furious movie drops. It’s just financial suicide. Once upon a time, you could have said that about Transformers but the last movie did around a DCEU level of success so the movie-going public might be tiring of them. This is what I mean by you cannot judge a movie based on the bitch and moans of the fanboys. Rabid comic and Star Wars fans do not make up enough numbers to be the deciding audience for a movie’s success or failures. They can have some influence but the only thing they end up doing it promoting the very thing they say they have problems with. The fans of any movie are the ones who pay to see the movie. The rabid fans will shore up the merchandising market, but they do not account for the box office numbers. Box office numbers and ticket sales are a completely different market than toys and actions figures. Despite the difference in the fan and critic ratings, despite the endless supply of YouTube videos and Tweets complaining on and on about Mary Sues and Storm Troopers not being black, the general Star Wars fans are making this movie a financial success. That’s the last word on any review, like it or not.
To hear all these reviewers talk Star Wars fans are facing off like in a super-hero team battle comic cover, all primed and ready to go at it. Except this isn’t the reality and these complaints are bullshit.
Star Wars Plot Holes
According to the complainers, there is this scene that just interrupts the movie. Finn wakes up from his coma and decides to sneak off to find Rey, but it blocked by a Rose Tico whose sisters was killed by Po’s idiotic actions at the beginning of the movie. Together they figure out how the New Order is tracking the rebel ships through light-speed and come up with a half-assed idea how to stop them. They end up at a casino planet and Star Wars The Last Jedi then does what every single Star Wars movie does, cut between one story than the other. The problem is that by the time they get to their objective it’s become useless because the Rebels have changed tactics, the New Order has adjusted to the change and things get worse.
And that’s my opinion on the whole Casino scene. It was no more disruptive to Star Wars the Last Jedi that the whole Hans and Leia being inside the big monster, or a lot fo the Cloud City stuff, or that who think with Jabba where they turn Leia into a masturbatory toy for absolutely no logical reason. You hear the same people love Bobba Fett – a character who was in about five minutes of all three original movies, but bitch and moan about Captain Phasma who was in the last two movies for about five minutes. If the people who didn’t like the casino scene left it at “it just didn’t work for me” that would be fine. However to a person, it was a lot of over-explaining, and a lot of disliking elements they praise in other Star Wars movies. It was when I began to read Tweets that claimed the only reason Rose was added to capture the Chinese market, I understand exactly what this was.
Rose and the Chinese Market – A Primer For Racists
Here’s a hint: Kelly Marie Tran is of Vietnamese descent but was born and raised in San Diego. The Chinese market is not driven by her because Chinese people care more about the movie produced in China by Chinese movie makers. Star War would make money if the whole cast were Cubans because it’s Star Wars and that’s the sort of thing that translates to almost every market. I know this because I actually looked it up instead of making a snap racist judgment.
Rey and the Promised Parents
As it turns out Rey’s parents weren’t anything special. They were just a couple of low-lives who sold their daughter for was ever amounts to Star Wars beer money. And the fanboys went wild – even ones who tend to keep a more level head about these things. According to them saying Rey’s parents were nothing special completely invalidates the mystery of her parents. First of all Star Wars: The Force Awaken never promised nor said who Rey’s parents were was a mystery. There was no point where Leia or Snook or anyone except Rey turned to someone and went, “Does she know who her parents were? Good, she much never knows.” The only people who mentioned Rey’s parents was Rey, and it informed her character that the idea that one day her parents might come back is a hope she holds to get her through rough times. But let’s talk about the notion that the reveal in Star Wars The Last Jedi somehow invalidates a mystery no one was really promised.
Invalidating something that seemed to have some kind of weight in one movie happens in all Star Wars movies after the first one. Obi-Wan tells look Darth Vader murder his father, Vader being his father makes Obi-Wan look like a liar and a dick. Leia is Lukes sister which we all know changes that whole kissing scene and Luke’s obvious infatuation of Leia into a PornHub category. If the Empire lost one super expensive moon-sized spaceship to the rebels, why the fuck would they invite exactly the same thing to happen to their unfinished (but fully functional) Death Star. If Vader knew Luke was his son, how come he didn’t know Leia was his daughter? If he knew Leia was his daughter, doesn’t that make the torture scene something completely different? If it was so important that Luke finish his training instead of going after his friends, why was Yoda all “Oh, I’ve taught you all I can” in Return of the Jedi? In that same movie, Yoda turns around and says “You MUST face Vader.” WTF. Didn’t they just say that he’s not ready to face Vader, that him learning that Vader is his father would turn him or ruin him? Now he’s got to face daddy? Why didn’t they say that in the first place? If that was the plan why not tell luke upfront?
Social Commentary, Muthafuckers
So if there are a metric ton of plot holes in every Star Wars movie, if Star Wars constantly says one thing in one movie only to turn around and invalidate it in another movie, then what’s this really all about. Simple, racism and sexism. Do a search for reviews of Star Wars The Last Jedi and go and look at everyone who makes these complaints. Most of them are cis-gender white guys. Yep. What was the cold hard truth of the end of Star Wars The Last Jedi? The main characters were no longer all white/mostly male. Now the main characters are a female, a black guy, a white guy and an Asian girl. The new ruler of the mighty Empire (or New Order) is a white guy whose barely fit to rule space-fish let alone a Galactic Empire. This is what’s really sparking off all this madness. Don’t believe me? Search most of those guys and see what their reaction to the teaser for Force Awakens. Most of these guys are the kind who argued that Storm Troopers can’t be black because. . .reasons. These are not actual criticisms, folks. These are butt-hurt white guys upset because they’ve got to share their toys with the other kids. They pretend to be “liberal” until they actually have to show and prove, then you find the conservative he-man woman hater in them all.
Next Movie Please
Star Wars The Last Jedi was a great addition to the storyline I’ve been waiting for 30 years to get completed. I like the direction, I like the characters, Luke was a total badass and went out like a fucking Jedi boss, and there is a promise of interesting things to come. The makers are Star Wars fans and it shows. JJ Abrams is handling the next installment and here’s hoping he gets it right. Star Wars The Last Jedi is a great movie, totally worth seeing at least three times.